30-day challenges have long been a thing – whether it’s exercise, gut cleanses, macro counting, or mindfulness. They’re structured enough to feel purposeful, but not so long that they become unbearable. A bite-sized dose of self-improvement, neatly packaged, promising healthier habits and, by extension, a better version of you.

And now, in our ever-expanding quest to optimise everything, 30-day challenges have made their way into the bedroom. Yes, even sex has its own 30-day challenge now and couples are signing themselves up in droves in the hope of reviving their sex lives.

If you’re having less sex than you think you should be, or your libido’s taken a bit of a nosedive, 30-day sex challenges offer a fairly straightforward solution: have sex. Every day. Even when you’re tired, not in the mood, or would far rather be watching the latest episode of The Summer I Turned Pretty in your pyjamas, you make space for sex – because, as the challenge suggests, repetition builds both desire and intimacy.

The Body+Soul 2025 Sex Census revealed 64 per cent of Aussies are satisfied with their sex lives. And while not dire, that leaves a lot of room for improvement. So, it’s no wonder people are looking for solutions.

Do 30-day sex challenges actually work?

“Desire is a lot more complex than just frequency,” says sexologist Georgia Grace. “Yes, frequent sensual moments can help people want sex more often – but only when they’re free from pressure, performance, or a box-ticking mindset.”

Clinical psychologist Phoebe Rogers agrees. “I’d never prescribe a daily challenge without understanding the couple first,” she says. “Sometimes the issue is emotional disconnection, sometimes it’s physical differences, and sometimes it’s simply their current environment – like new parents running on no sleep, or someone navigating grief or other major life stressors.”

“These challenges can bring up pressure, boundaries, even mismatched expectations. If one partner is anxious or reluctant, forcing it can actually do more harm than good,” says Rogers. “And then when there’s a number attached, like 30 days, it suddenly becomes about achievement. There’s a target, something to tick off, and people start comparing themselves or feeling like they’ve failed if they don’t finish it. But the truth is, sex is so individual, and shaped by so many different factors.”

Grace adds that “Challenges like this can work, but only if intimacy is playful, pleasurable, and it’s safe to say no without fear of rejection. When those conditions are met, frequent sexual moments can genuinely support desire.”

“But we really shouldn’t be obsessing over frequency,” she says. “It isn’t about how often you have sex, it’s how safe, connected, and enjoyable those moments feel. Feeling close, experiencing mutual desire, communicating openly, and creating reciprocal pleasure matter far more than hitting a number, especially if someone is uncomfortable or just enduring it.

“People’s bodies can get sore. Some might struggle with UTIs or irritation, others might feel fatigued, or experience dryness or general discomfort. That said, it’s not the same for everyone. It really depends on your body and the type of sex you’re having,” she explains.

When it comes to a 30-day sex challenge, they definitely have their merits. Heidi and Chris Powell, best known for their fitness expertise, tried it to reignite the spark in their marriage. Heidi says the challenge helped save their relationship, and that 30 days of sex, no exceptions, gave them the space to connect, really look at each other and say “I love you” every single day.

But, as Grace points out, it helps to broaden the definition of what sex actually is.

“People’s bodies can get sore. Some might struggle with UTIs or irritation, others might feel fatigued, or experience dryness or general discomfort. That said, it’s not the same for everyone. It really depends on your body and the type of sex you’re having,” she explains.

Rather than focusing solely on penetrative sex, Grace recommends widening the definition to include all kinds of intimacy. “This could be a sensual massage, washing each other’s bodies in the shower, making out during an ad break, exploring different erogenous zones, flirting, or reading erotica together. It’s about the ways you engage your mind and body, and also recognising that pleasure can come from solo practices too, it doesn’t always have to involve your partner.”

For Rogers, intimacy starts with connection. “I recommend focusing on what makes you feel connected to your partner, because that’s really what leads to intimacy,” she explains. “Do you need touch, affection, to be held? For some couples, it’s simply talking about sex, about barriers, about what’s been difficult. Others may benefit from gentle exposure to intimacy: conversation, touch, and gradually reconnecting with sexual experiences.”

In a culture where everything from our sleep cycles to meditation streaks and even our bowel movements are tracked and quantified, it feels almost inevitable that sex would be swept up in the optimisation craze too.

I’m not sure how I feel about intimacy being added to my daily to-dos, but I get the appeal; it creates a pocket of time where intimacy is prioritised over everything else – and there is something really lovely about that.